Beginning Again ...

In the middle of the journey of... life

I found myself astray in a dark wood

where the straight road had been lost sight of.

Dante Alighieri

The Divine Comedy

Hello, Everyone!

The experience of Compassion Fatigue (CF) is one that leads many of us to recognize that we have gone "astray in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost sight of".  It is an experience of lostness, anxiety, confusion and bewilderment. How did I get here? When did the caring person inside me begin to disappear? And, much more importantly, how do I find my way back to that caring self and begin again? 

Beginning again requires that we first take sufficient time to heal CF and then learn new and healthier ways of being and doing. Healing is different from curing. It is about gradually becoming more whole in ourselves rather than necessarily eliminating the signs of CF completely and forever. (Most helping professionals and family caregivers will ebb and flow through the early stages of CF as long as we continue working with people who are traumatized or suffering. The trick is building resilience before hand and then recognizing CF early in its progression so we can do something about it.) 

Beginning again is about re-membering our caring selves in a new way that promotes, not giving from the depths of our wells, but giving only from the overflow. It means transforming our accumulated primary and secondary traumatic stress and learning to reduce our trauma exposure. It means discovering our personal CF early warning signs so we can forestall further forays into "the dark wood". It means intentionally building skills and developing our physical, emotional, spiritual, social and professional lives so we have access to "something more" to ground and sustain us.

We need awareness, knowledge, courage and determination to make these kinds of life changes, one baby step at a time. I hope Celtic philosopher, John O'Donohue's, Blessing for A New Beginning, from To Bless the Space Between Us, will encourage you to take the first steps:

  

Blessing for a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness grow inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the grey promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plentitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

As I leave for a welcome long weekend visit to Vancouver Island, I wish each of you a very Happy Easter  (or whatever Spring observance you enjoy) and all the hopeful brightness of new beginnings!

And, if you are feeling ready to "begin again", do please join us for the Caring On Empty: Creative Tools for Compassion Fatigue Resilience for Helping Professionals workshop May 6th on Granville Island in Vancouver, BC.

Just email Jan at caregiverwellness@shaw.ca for a brochure. (And bring a colleague or friend!) The registration deadline is extended to April 22.

Embracing the Equinox ...

Spring and all its flowers

now joyously break their vow of silence.

Hafiz

 

Hi Everyone!

Today, the Equinox, (a twice yearly time of equal day and night), has arrived, heralding the onset of Spring. And Spring, the beginning of earth's creative cycle, invites us to open to the subtle awakening of the earth and to move with it into our own full blossoming. Spring is a time of renewal and of welcoming new life, a time of beginning again.

Here in Vancouver, we've had a beautiful Spring weekend with trees exploding into bloom, daffodils dancing in the wind and sunlight bouncing from the lakes and ocean. For many, it's been a time of joy and spontaneous activity. For others, these new beginnings have caused a fresh round of melancholy and yearning as the new has, inevitably, triggered echoes of the old.

The Equinox is a time of balance. We have the opportunity to notice and listen deeply to both sides of Spring, the ending and the beginning, to make space to say goodbye to the old and to open our eyes and hearts to whatever is emerging anew. It is also a time to just "be" with the dynamic energy of veriditas, "the greening of Spring", so we can discover our deepest longings, recognize unnoticed gifts and consider the next steps in our journeys of life.

It takes some conscious intention to participate fully in the possibilities of Spring. Poet, Lynn Unger, points out in her wonderful poem, Camas Lilies, that if we are not careful, our busyness can cause us to miss out on precious opportunities for new life:

And you -- what of your rushed and

useful life? Imagine setting it all down --

papers, plans, appointments, everything,

leaving only a note: "Gone to the fields

to be lovely. Be back when I'm through

with blooming."

Our world is full of abundance and creative spark. It is always possible for the old, dry and seemingly deadened within us to spring into life. Why not take a few moments today to notice what is awakening this Spring? What are you seeing around you? What is happening within?


If you would like help to make space for your process of awakening and growing, you are welcome to join us for the Spring 2016 Caring On Empty Workshop for Helping Professionals on May 6th at the Granville Island Hotel in Vancouver. Just email me at caregiverwellness@shaw.ca for a brochure. The registration deadline is extended to April 22nd.